Entries Tagged as 'lucy g'

20

so much, so beautiful, so not easy

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

^ this may be my favorite picture of all time.

a few noteworthy events, these past few weeks:

1) my baby turned one. we had like 30 people over for her party, and i spent way too much money on everything like always, and i’m not sorry! ONE YEAR ON PLANET EARTH FOR LU! one year as parents for us! such a life change. the humble knowledge that i could have done almost everything better…and yet the pride i feel, in myself and in her–the swelling, celebrate-with-me-world pride!

2) my baby then proceeded to get her first illness, namely, a nasty fever for three days. surprising, to walk into her room in the morning like everything’s normal, and pick her up, and feel her so, so hot.

we watched almost the whole first season of downton abbey and snuggled for hours. so sad and so sweet.

one evening, when her fever had dropped and we could walk outside in the fresh air, i felt the most incredible satisfaction of my life. walking through the park, eating an apple, pushing her in her stroller–so pure and immersing the satisfaction was, it took me a second to recognize it, and i won’t ever forget that moment. it felt so good to take care of my baby. in quintessential-type experiences such as that, i always ask myself if i’m feeling feelings because people told me i’d feel them (i.e., you’re a nurturer! because you’re a girl!), or if i’m feeling something really deep and true and unmanufactured. it was the latter.

3) meal times have became battles over the past few weeks…throwing sippy cups, throwing food on the floor, crying, pushing the spoon away, spitting out the same food she liked last week. and, was there ever a time i changed her diaper that she didn’t throw a fit? i had my first good cry in the living room the other night, leaving her in her high chair alone, needing to take a few deep breaths because i was mad. here i am, trying to give her nourishing food, and annie’s bunnies are pretty much all she’ll happily eat. this is all new to me…i feel unworthy to be responsible for lucy in this way, so unwise, so unsure.

i’m genuinely afraid of all this: afraid of losing my temper, afraid of being too strict, afraid of being too inconsistent, afraid of following the wrong discipline philosophies, terribly afraid i’m too sinful/out-of-control to guide another soul. oh, and then there’s the matter of our little baby boy soon to join the picture. TWO BABIES! a busy, farming husband working long hours next year! don’t know about all that.

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i think that about sums up my recent parenting milestones. feel free to comment with your favorite parenting-toddler books/mealtime tips/whatever, and feel free to come over for coffee and let’s talk.

xo

charlie

0

lucy “walking”

Thursday, July 5, 2012

how cute is she? i mean!

3

splish splash

Thursday, June 28, 2012

one good thing about aurora–there is an amazing splash park right across the yard!

the water was COLD, but lu loved it. i think her spirit is wild and free 🙂